MR RETAILER JUST ACCEPT IT, AMEX IS OK 

It all started when I was shopping. Now I'm an impulse buyer and definitely a strong believer of retail therapy. I had made my selection and decided on the entire outfit, and being my cheeky self, I thought – ‘I’ll put it on my Amex and grab some bonus points, this will get me well on my way to Fiji’. Unfortunately, that store did not accept American Express and therefore I looked back at my checkout bag and had to think about my purchases, did I really want them? Without my Visa and only my Amex hot in my hands. In making me think and not just swipe, the retailer lost the sale. Another impulse buy down the drain. Are you putting a barrier up to the sale? By only accepting Visa and Mastercard, how many sales have you missed out on?

By accepting American Express, customers spend more and there are thousands of us. American Express Card Members in New Zealand actually spend more than those who carry any other credit card as seen in recent reports.

Why do consumers spend more? For every dollar spent, the cardholder earns points which turn into rewards like flights, movies or restaurant vouchers. Members are always looking to use their Amex to earn more points to reap the rewards sooner and yes I know – there is a cost to rewards but there is on all loyalty programmes.

By becoming an American Express-accepting Merchant, you receive 24/7 access to a range of useful services, including tools to help manage your business, world-class fraud protection 24/7, and a range of benefits and services to help make your cash flow more efficient. Accepting American Express means so much more than just accepting a credit card. I'm not an Amex rep but maybe I should be. Amex does very little to help themselves in changing retailer perception. The card is considered by retailers to be too expensive to accept, and this is the number one reason that I'm told everywhere that doesn't take it.

Amex doesn't address this issue and merchants are left to make up their own minds about the card, with misinformation being the main problem. Come on, Amex, get in behind merchants, explain your charges in clear concise language because they just don't get it. I know that Amex here is far from home base, but really, we could do with hearing why accepting Amex makes good business sense. Give us a call, we'd love to tell our readers how Amex can benefit them.

Sorry, but I want to use my card and get my points and you're not helping!

For those of you who rushed to read my joke, here’s another golf one.

A husband takes his wife one morning to learn how to play golf. The wife swings and slices it right into a huge window of a huge house on the side of the course, so they make their way over to the house to apologise to the man.

As they walk in, a vase was in pieces on the floor. "I am so sorry," exclaimed the wife. "I'm learning and not very good."

The man interrupts: "It is quite alright. You see, I am a genie and was trapped in that vase for the last 300 years. You have released me and I would like to grant you two wishes. I will keep the third for myself as you broke my window." The couple look at each other in amazement.

"I want lots of money!" the wife announced.

"Done," he replied.

"I'd like a beautiful home in every country," requested the husband.

"And so you shall have it," the man said. The couple were over the moon and thanked the man for his kindness.

"As for my wish,” the man said, “I have been trapped in that case for so long without a woman. I would very much like to have sex with your beautiful wife."

The husband turned to his wife: "I don't know, maybe we should do it. He did give us all that money and property..." The wife agreed. The man whisked the wife upstairs. Hours later, he came downstairs to grab a glass of water. The husband was still waiting. The man asked: "If you don't mind me asking, how old is your wife?"

"She's 32 and I'm 34,” replied the husband. “Why do you ask?"

"Well, you're both a bit old to still believe in genies."